Be Honest. Be Brave.

Just remember that your past is the reason you're here right now in this moment. It has made you into this amazing human being who has lived a life full of good and bad things and you got through it. So never let someone make you feel like you don't deserve something because of a mistake you made before you knew any better. We all have to make mistakes so we can learn from them baby.

You are the only one who needs to forgive your mistakes. Do not let someone else hold that power. Because if you do, it will take a long time to take that power back. So be proud. Embrace your mistakes. No one has the right to make you feel inferior. Please remember this honey. Because it's going to happen. People are going to hurt you, but it will make you a stronger person.

Don't worry about the people who leave when they find out about your past. They aren't worth the hurt. You will eventually find the people who will love you no matter what. Those are the people who are worth it. Never let someone else decide what you are worth because you are so much more than what other people see on the outside.

You are made of your mistakes and failures. Your triumphs and happiness. You are made of stardust and smiles and tears. You were wonderfully and fearfully made by a God that will love you forever. Remember this. You will live a long life full of good and bad things. Don't let your bad things overshadow the good.

Think of that voice in the back of your head. Whoever it sounds like; you, your parents, your best friend, they are the types of people that you need. People who care and are willing to tell you when you have made a mistake, but who won't judge you for it.

Remember that you were beautiful before anyone ever told you and you will be beautiful after they leave. This is important. On those days where you can't even look into a mirror without remembering what that person said about you don't look. It's okay. But the next day take hundreds of pictures of yourself. Even if you don't save them do it. Remind yourself that you are beautiful. Always.

Tell yourself you look beautiful everyday. Even if you don't believe it at the moment, you'll start to believe it. Loving yourself takes time. Especially in a world that continuously tells you that you need to change everything about you to be "pretty." Baby, please don't believe them.

Love yourself. Don't let others label you. Never let your past get in the way of your future. Learn from your mistakes and let others learn from yours too. Be proud and never let someone decide you don't deserve something. These things are going to be hard. You're going to get hurt sometimes. You're going to make bad choices at 3 a.m. after a bad fight with someone you love. That's okay. You have to learn sometime my dear.

Love yourself even after you make mistakes. Don't let your mistakes stop you from living. Be honest. Be real. That's all you have to do.

Love,
Natalie

You Are Loved

I don't know if you have someone who loves you or not. But you deserve to be told that you are loved. A lot. Even if it's from a stranger you've never met.

Please don't forget that, sweetheart.

Because life is going to be hard and it will try to make you think that you aren't important. But never let it. Because you are so important. Even if it is to a few people. You still matter. You are still loved.

Sweetheart know this. The world is a dark place but love makes it a little brighter. So let your light shine. Guide those who have been extinguished. Burn bright and even if you are the only light, the dark will no longer engulf you. Never let someone put out your light. You are the only one responsible for how bright it glows.

Maybe you're not ready for love. Maybe love isn't ready for you. That's okay. Take your time. Know that sometimes love is that person who smiled at you on a really bad day or the best friend you've had since kindergarten. Maybe it's going home, alone, and being content. I guess what I'm getting at is love can be found everywhere. Sometimes it might just be a little harder to find than others.

Be present. In every day life. There you will find the little loves. The way the sunshine hits your face, the smile of a little kid, hearing other people laugh. These are the little loves. The little ways that people show how much they care for them.

Give away your love freely. Yes, it will cause you to get hurt at times, but the love you receive back will soften the blow. You may even receive love from someone you never imagined. Try not to be too worried. Giving away pieces of yourself daily is dangerous. But it's worth it in the end. You are fine, in fact you are perfect. You are loved by the most important people in the world. And that's all you really need in life.

Because when you are old and gray, looking back on your life, the love is what you'll remember. That's what matters. Baby this is what you need to remember.

The love of people can change the world, it can change you. But only if you let it. And you may not love everyone you meet. There may be people out there you'll get to know and they just won't be lovable. But don't show them hate. There is enough of that in the world. Show them compassion. They probably need it.

And when you are laying in your bed late at night worrying about the past, just remember that the past is what has formed you. Your past loves, your past friends, your past feelings are all a part of present you. So the unrequited love for that boy, the angry yelling at your parents because "they just don't understand", the silence between you and your best friend because that's what you needed at the time, they are all ways of showing love.

Be proud of these things. Be proud of the mistakes you have made with trusting people with your heart. At least you learned from it. Show everyone around you that a heartbreak isn't going to stop you from living. Cry, be angry, but then put on your armor and take up your sword and keep fighting.

Because that's what life is. That's what love is. It's a continuous fight. So be prepared. Because it's going to be a long, hard battle. But the day when you can finally lay down your sword and take off your armor you'll realize that it was so worth it.

Let your world be changed. Walk around with your hands open and your heart expectant. You'll find love in the most unexpected places if you do.

Trust me.

Love,
Natalie

Being Lonely

Being lonely isn't like being alone.

Loneliness is waiting for someone to come after you when you leave. Being alone is knowing that no one will come after you. I don't know if you've ever felt alone before, but trust me it sucks. It's a feeling that you never really get rid of even when you aren't alone. It's there in the back of your mind. Always reminding you that you've felt it before, and it can come back at any time.

Being alone is crushing. It plagues your thoughts and actions almost all the time.

I don't cry in front of people. I don't really share with others if I'm feeling anxious or sad or upset or anything like that. I push it back until I can deal with it by myself. I know this is bad, but I don't want to put those feelings onto someone else.

This makes me feel so completely alone at times that it becomes almost unbearable. To me that's what loneliness is. Feeling completely disconnected from the world and being afraid to tell others about it because you think they won't understand or care.

But trust me baby, they do. Because everyone has felt like that before. The sad thing is no one ever talks about it.

Being lonely is good sometimes. It makes you realize how important having people who care about you is.

And if you ever find yourself feeling completely alone, try becoming the person you would want to be with at that moment. Because life will be hard and there will be times where your only company is yourself. So start working on loving yourself a little bit more.

And baby, there will be times when being alone stays around for a while. During those times just remember that you will learn so much about yourself. Remember those lessons. They'll get you through so much.

This world is going to knock you down. There will be days full of rain and tears. And that person that you need in that moment might not be there. Maybe they're a thousand miles away in another city or you lost touch years ago, but there in that moment you will want them so much. If you're one of the lucky ones, then you'll still have that person. That person you can call at 2 in the morning and just cry. That person who will always be there to tell you they love you when you need it most.

That is when you'll realize that going through this life alone is never going to happen. Sure, maybe you don't have a 2 a.m. phone call, but you have a family. You have friends, coworkers, strangers on the internet, who care about you. Who love you and will be there to tell you at the end of that bad day. When the world pushes you past your breaking point. When you need someone to tell you that it will be okay eventually.

You may be lonely right now. You may feel like you have been pushed around and discarded. But please, if you don't remember anything else remember this, you will never be truly alone. Even if the only person you have rooting for you right now is a stranger on the internet. Know that that stranger believes in you so much.

So go out and let your light shine baby. This world needs it as much as you do.

Love,
Natalie

Take a Breath

Honey, I hope you don't let anyone rain on your parade. Remember you are the only person in the world who can decide what's best for you. Take a deep breath and forget the crazy things going on in life. Even just for a minute. Remember that at the end of the day, you are the only person who you have to make happy. Because your happiness isn't second place.

Be in the moment. Take in every day, hour, second as much as you can. Try not to look ahead or back too much. Don't worry about the past or the future. You can't change the past and the future isn't here yet. Live for the now. So you can remember those lovely summer days, those nights you spent hanging out with friends not doing anything special, just being together. Those are the things that will matter.

Take another breath. It'll be hard. That's no secret. And when it comes, you won't be able to remember these things. The bad will overcome you. That's inevitable. But you have to hold on. To whatever you can. Whether it's a small smile from a stranger, or the little bit of hope that never really disappears from anyone.

One more day. That's how you have to look at the world when it's bad, Lovely. Just live day by day. Hour by hour. Take the time to notice the good even during the bad. And try to do good for others as well. It doesn't matter if they're your best friend or a stranger, everyone struggles. So be kind.

Live, take deep breathes, look around every once in a while. You'll start to notice the little details. The way the sky looks after a rain storm. The way people look at others they love. The niceness of the world. It deserves to be noticed, even if it's just by one person.

Be proud of yourself. Your accomplishments will be different than others. Someday's, getting out of bed will be an accomplishment. Someday's you won't get out of bed at all but you did wake up an that's something to celebrate.

Take the time to remind yourself of these things. Remind others too because we all forget at times. And if no one has told you today, let me be the first to say I love you and I hope you have a good life.

--Natalie

Dear Love

Dear Love,

I don't know you yet, but I hear from others that you're pretty great. I hear you're indescribable. I hear you're life changing. And I've heard you can be devastating. I've heard you can destroy someone as quickly as you can build them up. I am only an acquaintance to you right now. With love for family and friends, nothing life changing. Nothing like a first love. But being completely engulfed by you is a terrifying thought right now. So, we'll stay acquaintances. At least for now. Until I can stop falling for every beautiful stranger I pass or for people who are completely wrong for me. But stay close, I hope to become more than an acquaintance soon.

I've seen you so many times. In the smiles between two people. The way he looks at her. The way she smiles at him. The way that they fit together so perfectly. The way they like the same types of movies. Even in the way they argue with each other. I've seen you in so any forms. Between two lovers, between two friends, between families, between those who can never be.

You can be so terrifying. Some say you're paralyzing. But they also say that you're so beautiful. So full of hope and happiness. Even when you turn sour and hurting. That memory still exists. Of the hope and happiness that once was. Which seems like it would make it hurt worse, but the ache is surprisingly comforting. It shows you can still feel.

When you disappear people miss you. They can feel the loss in their bones. I think you know this. I also think there is a reason you leave. Whether it's to teach a lesson or to show people they can survive. Or just maybe it's because that person needs to learn what you feel like coming from themselves instead of from someone else.

One day I hope to know you. Intimately. Wholly and completely. Maybe one day soon. Maybe not yet. O hope you come at just the right time. With the right person. I understand the first doesn't always last, but I hope that it doesn't end messy. Hopes and feelings are always changing. That's what I hope you do. You never leave, just change.

You are so beautiful. In so many ways. Yeah, sometimes you're painful. And sometimes you disappear for a really long time, but you always come back. You're always there when you're needed the most. If we didn't have you, this world would be a much darker and hateful place. I'm so glad I've got you in my life even if it's just for a while. I hope you know this.

Love,
Natalie

I Hope

I hope you know you move with a grace that is indescribable. You walk with your head held high and never let people belittle you. You are an indescribable human being. Someone who seems too perfect to exist. You're so special. I hope you know these things. I hope you are reminded of this when you need it most and if you need to hear it today, this is me telling you.

I hope you live a wonderful life. Full of good times, amazing friends, and family that love you. I hope you know your life is so special. You are destined to do amazing things that maybe right now only seem like a dream.

I hope your life is full of smiles and laughter and sunshine. Sure, there may be bad days or months or years, but I hope you know that you will get through. And these things will change you, sometimes not for the better, but that's okay. I hope you learn from these bad times.

I hope you never lose your faith. Your faith in yourself, in other people, in the world, in your God, in you life. It's what is going to help you through the bad times. I hope you have the faith to carry on. Or to quit. Whichever you need to do.

I hope you have courage. On the bad days where you're lucky to get out of bed and on the good days where you're going to have to be courageous for other people. I hope you can do it.

I hope you are strong. I hope you can face every challenge set in front of you with grace and strength. Because that's what it's going to take to get through life.

I hope you are happy. In your life, with choices you make, with the way you look, the way you act. I hope you make yourself happy before anyone else. Because at the end of the day you are the one who has to live with your choices. You're the one whose life will be affected most.

I hope you love yourself and I hope you love others. I hope you live a life you're proud of. I hope one day when you're old you can look back on your life and say that you lived it the bet way you knew how. I hope for so many things on your life.

I hope you know how proud I am. Of how you've grown and become your own person.

But mostly I hope you know that you are loved. So much. By so many people. And that's what matters most.

Love,
Natalie

2.15.14

I wish I could say that I am someone who can and will openly share about their faith and tell others about how God has affected me, but I've never felt comfortable doing it. I don't know why, but it's something I really want to change.

I guess when you look at the media today and the way people who call themselves Christians act, I don't want to be lumped into that stereotype. It's like if you believe in God then you must be like the Westboro Baptist Church or the people who protest outside of abortion clinics. But that's such a small minority.

I have the belief that we are to show everyone the love of Jesus by loving them. And none of this "love sinner hate the sin" stuff. You are to show them you love them especially at their worst. So someones and addict. Show them you'll love them even when they relapse. So someone is depressed. Show them that you will love them even when they cut you out of their life for months. To me that's what Christianity is. Showing love to everyone.

When I read scripture like "For God speaks time and again, but a person may not notice it." (Job 33:14) or "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with my righteous hand." (Isaiah 4:10) and I think about the fact that there is nothing in this world I should fear because I have faith in a God that will always protect me. And yet I'm afraid to do something as simple as tell people about Him.

For New Years I went to a youth conference at the beach and one of the speakers had a quote that I haven't been able to get out of my head. It was "People make choices. Choices make people." I want to be able to make choices where I became the person that I want to be. Someone who loves unconditionally, who cares more than may be good for them, someone who is always there as a shoulder to cry on or give them a hug. I want to be the person that people can come to when they need someone to just listen.

I hope to make the right choices. Whether it's sharing what I believe or showing people through my actions. I want to be someone others can look at and they know what I believe. I'm going to try and work on this this year. We'll see how it goes.

Love,
Natalie