It had finally come. The day she'd been waiting for since the moment she had entered high school. But now that it was here, she wasn't so excited. She was kind of terrified. Okay, more like extremely terrified.
Leaving had always been hard for her. Whether it was leaving her family to go to camp, leaving her camp friends to go home, or leaving to go on vacation. She was afraid things would change while she was gone. She was afraid life would go on and the people she was leaving would forget her.
That's why she was so terrified of leaving now. Because now she was leaving for good. There was no coming back in a week or a month. This was her final farewell. And maybe that was a bit over dramatic, but she deserved to be sometimes damn it.
Maybe there would be the occasional weekend visit to the parents, but it wouldn't be home anymore as it had been for the last eighteen years of her life. She was now going to be responsible for everything. Paying bills, buying groceries, waking up on time, cleaning the house, all of these had just been done or she had been told to do for the majority of her life and now she was the one making those decisions.
Life has a way of making you see how hard things can be and usually you learn that for yourself the hard way. By messing up. A lot. That's what she was afraid of most. Messing up and not being able to fix it. Because that's what she did. She was a fixer. She knew it would happen one day, but she never really thought about it until she was getting ready to leave because that was when it hit her. She was doing it. She was going to go out in the world and she may screw up. A lot. But she was going to be okay. Or she would be.
She turned to get a look at her childhood house for the last time. Being reminded of all the memories made and all the things that would be missed about it. She smiled and turned back finally feeling like an adult. Her first decision had been made and she was confident about it. Now to just keep going.
(Love,
Natalie)
Leaving had always been hard for her. Whether it was leaving her family to go to camp, leaving her camp friends to go home, or leaving to go on vacation. She was afraid things would change while she was gone. She was afraid life would go on and the people she was leaving would forget her.
That's why she was so terrified of leaving now. Because now she was leaving for good. There was no coming back in a week or a month. This was her final farewell. And maybe that was a bit over dramatic, but she deserved to be sometimes damn it.
Maybe there would be the occasional weekend visit to the parents, but it wouldn't be home anymore as it had been for the last eighteen years of her life. She was now going to be responsible for everything. Paying bills, buying groceries, waking up on time, cleaning the house, all of these had just been done or she had been told to do for the majority of her life and now she was the one making those decisions.
Life has a way of making you see how hard things can be and usually you learn that for yourself the hard way. By messing up. A lot. That's what she was afraid of most. Messing up and not being able to fix it. Because that's what she did. She was a fixer. She knew it would happen one day, but she never really thought about it until she was getting ready to leave because that was when it hit her. She was doing it. She was going to go out in the world and she may screw up. A lot. But she was going to be okay. Or she would be.
She turned to get a look at her childhood house for the last time. Being reminded of all the memories made and all the things that would be missed about it. She smiled and turned back finally feeling like an adult. Her first decision had been made and she was confident about it. Now to just keep going.
(Love,
Natalie)
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