I don't know when it happened, but I've come to realize that I don't really feel like a kid anymore. I mean just last year alone I got a job, got my license, and I had to do taxes! I'm not sure I like it.
I just looked through all my old yearbooks from when I was still in school and old things that I had written in my diaries and it's made me miss those times. The times where everyone in your grade was your friend and that no one cared if you were friends with a boy or not because it wasn't a big deal. They were just more friends, not someone you might want to date or someone you secretly love. None of that mattered. You were friends because they were the people you spent the majority of your time with.
I've come to realize that out in the "real world" when you don't have school to make friends, it can be really lonely. You have the people you work with (if you have a job) but they're your "work friends" and you feel like you have to be a certain way when you're with them. Or your like me and all of the people you work with are all adults and don't have to worry about having to get home before nine or telling their parents where they are and when they'll be home.
Being a kid was the best. You didn't have to worry about schedules because your parents did that. You didn't have to worry about money because that's what birthday's and Christmas and any other holiday was for. You didn't have to worry about the way you looked because none of your friends cared if you had the newest clothes or brand names because that's not why they were your friend. You didn't have to worry about anything, because your job was to have fun and be kid and the adults job was to worry.
God I miss that.
Being able to not worry about schedules and if I'm going to have to work when I need to do something else, or just having free time would be nice. If there were a day I woke up and didn't want to go straight back to sleep would be nice too. Just to be able to have as much energy and to look at the world everyday with the wonder that kids do, I would love that.
I don't know when I began to become this "adult/kid" that I am now, but what I do know is that I'm going to stop trying to grow up so fast. I always couldn't wait to grow up when I was younger, but now I just wish I could be a kid again. When a kiss from a parent would heal anything, from a scraped knee to hurt feelings. Or when I knew my stuffed animals came to life when I left, so I would have to sit them with other animals they liked. I just want to be able to look at the world and always see the good. I want my innocence back, when I didn't know anything about the horrors of the world, when I felt like I was invincible. I just want to be a kid again.
Love,
Natalie
I just looked through all my old yearbooks from when I was still in school and old things that I had written in my diaries and it's made me miss those times. The times where everyone in your grade was your friend and that no one cared if you were friends with a boy or not because it wasn't a big deal. They were just more friends, not someone you might want to date or someone you secretly love. None of that mattered. You were friends because they were the people you spent the majority of your time with.
I've come to realize that out in the "real world" when you don't have school to make friends, it can be really lonely. You have the people you work with (if you have a job) but they're your "work friends" and you feel like you have to be a certain way when you're with them. Or your like me and all of the people you work with are all adults and don't have to worry about having to get home before nine or telling their parents where they are and when they'll be home.
Being a kid was the best. You didn't have to worry about schedules because your parents did that. You didn't have to worry about money because that's what birthday's and Christmas and any other holiday was for. You didn't have to worry about the way you looked because none of your friends cared if you had the newest clothes or brand names because that's not why they were your friend. You didn't have to worry about anything, because your job was to have fun and be kid and the adults job was to worry.
God I miss that.
Being able to not worry about schedules and if I'm going to have to work when I need to do something else, or just having free time would be nice. If there were a day I woke up and didn't want to go straight back to sleep would be nice too. Just to be able to have as much energy and to look at the world everyday with the wonder that kids do, I would love that.
I don't know when I began to become this "adult/kid" that I am now, but what I do know is that I'm going to stop trying to grow up so fast. I always couldn't wait to grow up when I was younger, but now I just wish I could be a kid again. When a kiss from a parent would heal anything, from a scraped knee to hurt feelings. Or when I knew my stuffed animals came to life when I left, so I would have to sit them with other animals they liked. I just want to be able to look at the world and always see the good. I want my innocence back, when I didn't know anything about the horrors of the world, when I felt like I was invincible. I just want to be a kid again.
Love,
Natalie
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