"Life throws you curve balls." I've always been told that. When something bad would happen, when something unexpected would happen, when life got hard and I didn't think I could get through, I was told this. I didn't understand it, and you know what, I still don't really get it. All I know is this. I'm bad at catch, and life has been throwing curve balls at me for a while and I've been missing them. And it's starting to hurt.
These are the bad days. The days where I don't know what to do. Where I don't want to do anything. I don't know why this happens or what to do about it, but it makes me angry when this happens. Then there are the occasional good days, the days where it seems like nothing can go wrong and that everything is getting better. But then it gets bad again.
It's taken me a while to get used to this. And I'm still not totally okay with it, but I'm getting there. I'm getting better at catching those curve balls.
The days where it seems like everything is going wrong. Or the days where there I'm not feeling good, those are the days I realize how much the little things matter. Because that's what will make my day better. Something small, something so minuscule no one else would even care, but it made my day worth it. Like finding a penny on heads, or getting flowers from kids, or being told I look pretty from a stranger or someone I know on a day I'm not feeling it.
Life's been getting better lately because of the small things and that's all I can say right now. Sure, some days are still bad. But it's becoming less frequent and now I can handle them a little better. I don't just shut down. I deal with it and wait for the next good day. So that's what I have right now. Good days and bad. And I couldn't ask for anything better. At least I'm here.
Love,
Natalie
(This started out as a fictional piece but became a lot more real than I'm willing to admit. So I'll leave it up to you to decide which part is which.)
These are the bad days. The days where I don't know what to do. Where I don't want to do anything. I don't know why this happens or what to do about it, but it makes me angry when this happens. Then there are the occasional good days, the days where it seems like nothing can go wrong and that everything is getting better. But then it gets bad again.
It's taken me a while to get used to this. And I'm still not totally okay with it, but I'm getting there. I'm getting better at catching those curve balls.
The days where it seems like everything is going wrong. Or the days where there I'm not feeling good, those are the days I realize how much the little things matter. Because that's what will make my day better. Something small, something so minuscule no one else would even care, but it made my day worth it. Like finding a penny on heads, or getting flowers from kids, or being told I look pretty from a stranger or someone I know on a day I'm not feeling it.
Life's been getting better lately because of the small things and that's all I can say right now. Sure, some days are still bad. But it's becoming less frequent and now I can handle them a little better. I don't just shut down. I deal with it and wait for the next good day. So that's what I have right now. Good days and bad. And I couldn't ask for anything better. At least I'm here.
Love,
Natalie
(This started out as a fictional piece but became a lot more real than I'm willing to admit. So I'll leave it up to you to decide which part is which.)
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