Every now and then I'll hear a song on the radio or while I'm listening to my iPod that I haven't heard in a while and I'll get this weird sort of nostalgia. It's like they trigger these memories and these feelings. It's like when I go somewhere I haven't been in a while but it hasn't changed and my memories match up perfectly with the way it is now. It makes me feel safe when this happens. Like no matter what these things will be there to greet me no matter how far away I go.
The fact that I already feel this sort of nostalgia for certain things kind of scares me. I'm sixteen. I shouldn't long for a time when I used to dream about being this old. Maybe that's the difference. Maybe I looked forward too much. Maybe I put too much of an expectation on growing up. Maybe I built up the idea of being older when I was younger because when your young all you want to be is older.
This nostalgia scares me. I don't want to spend my life looking back all the time. But I guess that's a part of life. Being reminded of your past so you can learn and grow. I know things change, that's just life. And pretty soon my memories and pictures will be all I have of this time in my life. A skewed viewpoint, you could say. Showing the good, but never the bad. That's what I find so amazing about our connections we put onto things. Like a song or a movie-- you can g back and listen or watch these things and feel everything you felt when you heard/saw it for the first time. You feel the good and the bad. But to have those constants, even if they seem insignificant to other people and even when your miles away there is something comforting about that. Something that just makes me feel content. Like I always have somewhere to come back to.
Love,
Natalie
The fact that I already feel this sort of nostalgia for certain things kind of scares me. I'm sixteen. I shouldn't long for a time when I used to dream about being this old. Maybe that's the difference. Maybe I looked forward too much. Maybe I put too much of an expectation on growing up. Maybe I built up the idea of being older when I was younger because when your young all you want to be is older.
This nostalgia scares me. I don't want to spend my life looking back all the time. But I guess that's a part of life. Being reminded of your past so you can learn and grow. I know things change, that's just life. And pretty soon my memories and pictures will be all I have of this time in my life. A skewed viewpoint, you could say. Showing the good, but never the bad. That's what I find so amazing about our connections we put onto things. Like a song or a movie-- you can g back and listen or watch these things and feel everything you felt when you heard/saw it for the first time. You feel the good and the bad. But to have those constants, even if they seem insignificant to other people and even when your miles away there is something comforting about that. Something that just makes me feel content. Like I always have somewhere to come back to.
Love,
Natalie
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