Recently

I recently had one of those moments in life where I stopped and thought about what I've been doing recently and came to this really scary realization. I realize that these days I'm living right now, they are what I'm gong to remember after years have passed. The past couple of weeks have been so crazy and busy they kind of just went by without me really noticing, but they've been full of amazing times.

I went to prom. Something I never really thought I would actually get to do. And it was amazing! I met a lot of really great people, had so much fun, and just generally felt like a teenager. Which I know sounds weird because I am a teenager, but when you don't spend the majority of your time with other teenagers you kind of don't feel like one. 

Then about two weeks later I had my dance recital which was also amazing. I've been dancing for 14 years. That means 14 recitals, not all that I can specifically remember, but also 14 years of memories of dancing and falling in love with it. This one felt different though. It was the first recital that my grandmother wasn't there for, which was weird and sad, but I know she would be really proud. It was definitely one of the recitals I am most proud of. I also realized that it's my next to last recital too. Which is terrifying, but also exhilarating. When I was little I would always watch the "big girls" dance and think about how exciting my senior recital would be and then you become a part of that class and you have these little kids look at you the same way you did when you were little is kind of intimidating. And the two girls who graduated I've known for years and I'm going to miss them. Everyone has their role that they fulfill in a group setting and I know that this upcoming year there is going to be empty spots that are never going to be able to be filled by others. 

It's weird how life can go by so fast, but feel so slow at the same time. Realizing that this is what life is about, making memories and living in the moment, is what matters. I guess I've realized that you're not going to remember the boring day to day stuff. It's not going to be important in the long run. But you'll remember those times where you did something out of your comfort zone or something that you really love. That those are the important things. And yeah, you may not have those things happening every day, but when they do they are amazing and, make you realize just why life is so worth living. 

Getting that rush of joy and happiness during those moments makes them worth it. Even if they are scary or intimidating. This is life. This moment, right now, and every moment after this counts. And I'm responsible for what I fill them with. So I might as well fill them with good moments, because those are what I'll remember in forty years. Those are what will matter. 

Love,

Natalie