Ahh...Boys

The mind of a teenage boy, how does it work? Apparently it's a smart idea to not talk to someone even if you're friends because you won't be seeing them often. Then when that person sends you a text telling you this and you respond saying okay, they feel the need to tell you to stop talking to them. Sometimes I wonder why I even started talking to him in the first place. He's so bipolar, one minute he wants to talk and the next he's telling me delete him from my contacts and on Facebook. I'm to the point where I'm like make up your mind and quit bothering me, I have better things to do than deal with your teenage angst. But hopefully he is now out of my life and everything is going to get better and I'll stop dreading every time my phone rings. Sometimes people need to grow up before starting relationships, whether friendships or more, and I wholeheartedly believe this is one of those times. He needs to realize the world doesn't revolve around him and that I have better things to do than to sit and talk to him and deal with his mood swings. But what's done is done and I feel better than ever, so lets hope it continues. Who knew deleting a contact could be so freeing. 

Here's a Question

Okay, now. So, I've been talking to this guy who is apparently completely in love with me, but we've only met once and I definitely don't feel the same. But my question is, I've told him how I felt, and he told me we could be friends and that was fine, etc. Now he's saying that since we can't be more than friends he doesn't want to have anything to do with me. So the question is, what's his deal and why does it matter if were friends or more than friends? Because I am in no way mature enough to be anyone's girlfriend and I'm definitely too sarcastic and weird to be one to someone who isn't at least a little like me. I'm like a more social and female version of Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only teenage girl who actually doesn't want to date because it sure seems like it. I'm content admiring cute boys from afar and fantasizing about actors. I think this post has taken a different turn, but I still have my question posed and I feel better, so it has accomplished the task.

It's me...again

Hello people of the internet. (Or, you know, lets be honest myself.) It has been a while, but I promise to try and update at least once a week. Now I figure I should introduce myself a little better and then tomorrow I shall start a 30 day challenge. Let's get to it.

Hi, I'm Natalie and I'm 15 years old. It's really weird for me to be doing something like this, but I'm hoping it will help me open up and be able to express what I'm thinking without worrying about what other people think, because it's a  really bad habit I'm hoping to break. I am in high school, but I guess you could say I don't really act like teenagers my age. I love working with little kids because they are hilarious and completely unfiltered. I have the weirdest music sense in my opinion. But music is really important to me, just like being able to go to dance class every week. It's a way to be able to express how I feel and when I'm listening to music or dancing I'm in my own mind, just solving the worlds problems. I try to make people feel like I'm someone they can come talk to if they need someone. I like writing and like to think I'm pretty good at it at times, but I don't really know. One of my favorite authors is John Green and before I found his books I had never really had a single author whose books I had always liked, but his are all amazing. To quote one of the magazines that reviewed his newest book The Fault in Our Stars, he doesn't write to young adults, he writes for them. I'm really weird and sarcastic and awkward, especially around people I don't really know. I'm really able to just put my trust in people I don't know and I think for now that's okay, but someday I'm going to need to be able to trust people. To some people it would seem like I'm an open book, but there's been so much that's happened in my life that no one really knows about except my family, and I like to keep things to myself. I'm good at hiding what I think and feel and I try to help my friends and even people I don't really know or like if they are having a hard time, because I believe everyone deserves to be happy, even if it's for a short time. I'm obsessed with quotes and I have notebooks full of them. I love bracelets and necklaces and things like that, but I don't wear a lot of them. I can't think of anything else to put, but I may add some things later.
Love,
Natalie

New Year, My Year

It's officially 2012 and another year has passed by. It seems to have gone by way too quickly, but it also seems so far away.
This year I several resolutions. I have always been one to be quiet about what I think and that's not really gotten me anywhere, so that's going to  change this year. I'm also going to try and be a little more trusting of people. I don't let people in and love people like I should, and this year it's going to change. My family is so close, and sometimes I feel like I'm looking in form the outside. I'm going to take my life into my own hands. I may be young, but I don't want to be stuck in this place for the rest of my life. I'm going to stop stressing the little things that don't really matter, because that's just not good for me. I'd like to meet more people and be able to have the courage to speak up and say hello first. And I'm going to be happy.
That's what I want most out of this year. I want to be happy. And I'm going to be. I don't know how long it'll take, but next year I'm going to look back and see that this is one of the best years of my life. I'm going to make it happen, for me.