Saturday, September 29, 2012
Thursday, September 27, 2012
I don't know why, and feel free to just ignore this post, but I have been in a crappy mood all day today and I can't seem to shake it. I woke up early this morning in a terrible mood and I was tired and cold and that's never a good combo for me, but I figured it'd go away after I had gotten a shower and some caffeine. But that didn't help.
I went to work (at a daycare) and small, whiny children and me in a bad mood, not a good combo. I was so irritated the time I left there I probably would've screamed at someone if they said the wrong thing.
Then I had to come home and do my school work, which wasn't too bad until I got to geometry and that just totally sucked and made me even more upset. And when I was trying to do history I was so tired I started to fall asleep because all I was doing was reading.
I got online then and my day was getting better, but then when I was getting ready to leave for supper with my family I had to go get changed for dance and couldn't find anything and I was running late and I needed to go by the library, which closed at 6:00, but had to meet my mom at the restaurant at 5:20, so I was angry I couldn't go to the library.
Then at dance tonight the "group" I'm in literally spent 10 minutes on our part of the dance while the other "group" spent like 25 minutes on theirs and we had all the new people. And then when we were doing the new part I ask if these steps are right, my teacher says they ARE, then when that's what me and everyone else in my group does, she yells and says that isn't right! I mean shouldn't she have said so in the first place.
It just irritates me to no end when people say one thing, but that's not exactly what they mean. And the fact that the other people in my group except one, doesn't take this dance serious at all and it's for our recital and it has a lot of meaning to it.
So, I just feel like yeah, I'm probably over reacting, but I also feel like they should have a little respect for the meaning behind the song and what it will mean to other people when they see it performed. But they are too busy worried about things at school that in my opinion, are petty and stupid and easily fixed.
I know this was probably really boring and if you read all the way through I'm sorry, but I just needed to get this out and I didn't want to tell someone, so I thought I'd write it here.
Love,
Natalie
I went to work (at a daycare) and small, whiny children and me in a bad mood, not a good combo. I was so irritated the time I left there I probably would've screamed at someone if they said the wrong thing.
Then I had to come home and do my school work, which wasn't too bad until I got to geometry and that just totally sucked and made me even more upset. And when I was trying to do history I was so tired I started to fall asleep because all I was doing was reading.
I got online then and my day was getting better, but then when I was getting ready to leave for supper with my family I had to go get changed for dance and couldn't find anything and I was running late and I needed to go by the library, which closed at 6:00, but had to meet my mom at the restaurant at 5:20, so I was angry I couldn't go to the library.
Then at dance tonight the "group" I'm in literally spent 10 minutes on our part of the dance while the other "group" spent like 25 minutes on theirs and we had all the new people. And then when we were doing the new part I ask if these steps are right, my teacher says they ARE, then when that's what me and everyone else in my group does, she yells and says that isn't right! I mean shouldn't she have said so in the first place.
It just irritates me to no end when people say one thing, but that's not exactly what they mean. And the fact that the other people in my group except one, doesn't take this dance serious at all and it's for our recital and it has a lot of meaning to it.
So, I just feel like yeah, I'm probably over reacting, but I also feel like they should have a little respect for the meaning behind the song and what it will mean to other people when they see it performed. But they are too busy worried about things at school that in my opinion, are petty and stupid and easily fixed.
I know this was probably really boring and if you read all the way through I'm sorry, but I just needed to get this out and I didn't want to tell someone, so I thought I'd write it here.
Love,
Natalie
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
What makes someone a role model? I know for myself I have a lot of people I look up to. They range from being close friends and family to people I've never actually met, but have gotten to know online. All these people have one thing in common. Some part of their personality, character, etc. have inspired me to become a better person. They've helped me realize it's okay to be a little weird and to like what I do and I should be proud of who I am because there is no one else out there exactly like me.
Now these people also have been "chosen" by me as people I admire. They are people who I think are amazing and are someone I'd want to be like eventually. I think it's important that you choose someone to be your mentor. They are people who are willing to give you advice, even if it's going to hurt to hear because it's needed at that time. These peoples task is to be a good example and to be honest, even if it is hard.
Being someones mentor is hard, but I also think it's something that is worth the pain. You have the ability to shape this person's life and that's scary, but it also means that person trusts you enough to give you that sort of influence. Being a "good" mentor ha different connotations to different people and it has a lot to do with the type of person you are, but all I know is everyone I look up to has the ability to be open and honest about themselves and they are proud of who they are and what they are feeling.
That's what I think is important to a mentor, someone who is willing to be honest about how they feel, so you feel safe telling them how you feel.Being honest is important in any relationship just like trust.
I hope you have at least one person you can go to and trust with your feelings and secrets, because keeping them hidden isn't healthy. That's why these people are important. They help you figure out who you want to become and how to trust.
Love,
Natalie
Now these people also have been "chosen" by me as people I admire. They are people who I think are amazing and are someone I'd want to be like eventually. I think it's important that you choose someone to be your mentor. They are people who are willing to give you advice, even if it's going to hurt to hear because it's needed at that time. These peoples task is to be a good example and to be honest, even if it is hard.
Being someones mentor is hard, but I also think it's something that is worth the pain. You have the ability to shape this person's life and that's scary, but it also means that person trusts you enough to give you that sort of influence. Being a "good" mentor ha different connotations to different people and it has a lot to do with the type of person you are, but all I know is everyone I look up to has the ability to be open and honest about themselves and they are proud of who they are and what they are feeling.
That's what I think is important to a mentor, someone who is willing to be honest about how they feel, so you feel safe telling them how you feel.Being honest is important in any relationship just like trust.
I hope you have at least one person you can go to and trust with your feelings and secrets, because keeping them hidden isn't healthy. That's why these people are important. They help you figure out who you want to become and how to trust.
Love,
Natalie
Monday, September 24, 2012
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Monday, September 17, 2012
I'm terrified of going to college in two years. It's like this thought in the back of my mind that never really goes away. "What if I don't get into the college I want to go to," "Will I be able to get through my anxiety and function." But the thing is I don't want to be stuck in the same place forever, but leaving is hard to even think about.
I've lived in the same place since I was born and I've only been to church camp without my parents for a week. I've never gone somewhere far away that I wasn't at least with some family. And all the people I know live here and I'm not like super shy or anything, but I am a person who is quiet until I get comfortable around new people.
The thought of going somewhere where I don't know anyone is mind-boggling. I've always had someone with me, no matter where I went, that I knew. I always had a person I could go to if I was feeling down or just needed to vent, but going somewhere where you don't know anyone you no longer have a person to run to that you can tell about your horrible first days.
I know I don't want to be that person who never got out of their small town to explore the world, but I also know that with my anxiety and the way I stress myself out over miniscule things, I'm bound to have some anxiety. I just need to learn how to control it. Because I'm not going to let it ruin my life and I'm going to go to amazing places one day. I hope I can live up to my expectations and I hope I'm able to let go of this "fear," which it isn't a feeling of fear, it's a feeling of "what if?" And I don't like what if's I like to know exactly what's going to happen, but life isn't like that and you have to roll with the punches and see what God has planned.And I know that whatever happens, I'm going to be okay. I just have to start believing it.
Love,
Natalie
I've lived in the same place since I was born and I've only been to church camp without my parents for a week. I've never gone somewhere far away that I wasn't at least with some family. And all the people I know live here and I'm not like super shy or anything, but I am a person who is quiet until I get comfortable around new people.
The thought of going somewhere where I don't know anyone is mind-boggling. I've always had someone with me, no matter where I went, that I knew. I always had a person I could go to if I was feeling down or just needed to vent, but going somewhere where you don't know anyone you no longer have a person to run to that you can tell about your horrible first days.
I know I don't want to be that person who never got out of their small town to explore the world, but I also know that with my anxiety and the way I stress myself out over miniscule things, I'm bound to have some anxiety. I just need to learn how to control it. Because I'm not going to let it ruin my life and I'm going to go to amazing places one day. I hope I can live up to my expectations and I hope I'm able to let go of this "fear," which it isn't a feeling of fear, it's a feeling of "what if?" And I don't like what if's I like to know exactly what's going to happen, but life isn't like that and you have to roll with the punches and see what God has planned.And I know that whatever happens, I'm going to be okay. I just have to start believing it.
Love,
Natalie
Sunday, September 16, 2012
As I keep looking through my tumblr I see these things that really make me upset. One recently is one of a girl complaining that she isn't pretty and he friend disagreeing and then the girl listing all the reasons she isn't pretty. And that just pisses me off. They're stupid things like "Oh, I only get text messages from my parents," and "I don't get likes on my pictures I put on Facebook."
The thing is, there are SO many worse things in the world. So what if you don't get a million texts a day (and if you did I bet you'd be annoyed by that.) and so what if you get hundreds of likes on a picture, Facebook likes don't determine what you're worth.
Besides, why would you want to be friends with someone who is constantly worrying about how they look and how other people perceive them. It becomes annoying after a while. You don't have to be perfect to find that one person you're meant for. Because when you find each other, you'll not notice all the things that are make them "ugly," you'll only notice the good things and they'll only notice your good things.
I hope people don't honestly think that just because some one says something mean about them that everyone is going to forever remember them like that, because most likely, they're not. Most likely if you talk to your friends you'll realize how much you actually mean to them and that it doesn't matter if you have the latest clothes or are the "pretty" friend. What matters is that you're interesting and intelligent and a caring person.
No on wants to be remembered as the person who cared about how they looked all the time when they leave their school, (at least I wouldn't want to.), but people will remember your actions. So make those count.
And remember that just because you don't think you're pretty it doesn't mean that no one is ever going to love you and you're going to be alone forever, because you're not. You're going to find the right person at the right time and everything is going to work out.
Love,
Natalie
The thing is, there are SO many worse things in the world. So what if you don't get a million texts a day (and if you did I bet you'd be annoyed by that.) and so what if you get hundreds of likes on a picture, Facebook likes don't determine what you're worth.
Besides, why would you want to be friends with someone who is constantly worrying about how they look and how other people perceive them. It becomes annoying after a while. You don't have to be perfect to find that one person you're meant for. Because when you find each other, you'll not notice all the things that are make them "ugly," you'll only notice the good things and they'll only notice your good things.
I hope people don't honestly think that just because some one says something mean about them that everyone is going to forever remember them like that, because most likely, they're not. Most likely if you talk to your friends you'll realize how much you actually mean to them and that it doesn't matter if you have the latest clothes or are the "pretty" friend. What matters is that you're interesting and intelligent and a caring person.
No on wants to be remembered as the person who cared about how they looked all the time when they leave their school, (at least I wouldn't want to.), but people will remember your actions. So make those count.
And remember that just because you don't think you're pretty it doesn't mean that no one is ever going to love you and you're going to be alone forever, because you're not. You're going to find the right person at the right time and everything is going to work out.
Love,
Natalie
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Monday, September 3, 2012
You know what's weird? When you're younger and have sibling you NEVER get along. But it's become apparent to me lately that as you get older you and your siblings either become closer or you stay about the same.
Now I have two brothers. One is older and has just gone off to college this year. We use to never get along and at times this is still true, but those times are much more rare. We have become much closer, and I think it's because as I've gotten older I've developed the same sort of sense of humor and the same sort of personality as him. We are a lot a like and we like a lot of the same things, so we have become closer because of this.
I also have a twin brother. We aren't as close as you would expect twins to be I guess. We are just very different. We like different things and we have different personalities and that's what I believe makes us not as close. This doesn't mean that I don't like him or anything like that, I just don't have as much to talk or share with him.
But I think as we continue to get older and grow up we will have a chance to become closer to each other and learn more about each other that we don't know. Because there is always something we can learn about our family.
So, I hope you guys take some time and spend it with your siblings when you can. Let them know you care because it'll matter to them, even if it doesn't seem like it.
Love,
Natalie
Now I have two brothers. One is older and has just gone off to college this year. We use to never get along and at times this is still true, but those times are much more rare. We have become much closer, and I think it's because as I've gotten older I've developed the same sort of sense of humor and the same sort of personality as him. We are a lot a like and we like a lot of the same things, so we have become closer because of this.
I also have a twin brother. We aren't as close as you would expect twins to be I guess. We are just very different. We like different things and we have different personalities and that's what I believe makes us not as close. This doesn't mean that I don't like him or anything like that, I just don't have as much to talk or share with him.
But I think as we continue to get older and grow up we will have a chance to become closer to each other and learn more about each other that we don't know. Because there is always something we can learn about our family.
So, I hope you guys take some time and spend it with your siblings when you can. Let them know you care because it'll matter to them, even if it doesn't seem like it.
Love,
Natalie
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