So I keep seeing all these people on Facebook getting engaged and married and it's made me do a lot of thinking. In this moment of my life I know without a doubt that I could not get married to someone and it actually work out. That's just a fact for me. Leaving out the fact that I'm single and not even looking for a relationship right now anyway, but at this moment of my life I couldn't get married and be happy in my life. So seeing all of this, especially because I go to a Christian university where everyone takes the whole "ring by spring" thing seriously I feel like I'm in the minority. I know this isn't the case within the real world, but in my world (aka southern US at a Christian school) this is true.
There's so much of the world I've yet to experience and I want to get to experience them. Not that you can't do that when married, it's just a little harder especially when you're young. I want to be happy with myself on my own before bringing another person into the picture again. You know, even as much as my ex and I loved each other and as much as I wanted him to be in my future we had already talked and we had the same feelings. There are still a lot of things that we both want to do in our lives, and marriage is just not something that we came close to considering. The timing for us was definitely not the best, but in then end we knew that we both had plans for our future. We had two different but also similar paths that we were heading down, but we didn't want anything to stop us from pursuing our goals. And I guess that's a little bit of the reason we broke up. We were happy, and we still care about each other and are in full support of each others choices, but this time in our life a commitment like marriage would've ruined our opportunities or our relationship and neither of those were things we ever were willing to risk.
I have at least six years of school left. Five after the end of this semester, but I have to get at least a masters degree to even qualify for a job in the field I want to go into. Then I have actually find a job, hopefully within that field I just spent six years of my life getting an education for and become a functioning member of society. Within that time I'd love to travel, maybe fall in love again a time or two, and just become the person that I've always wanted to be. These are all of the things that I want to happen before I get married. I have a list of "requirements" I guess you could say that have to be accomplished before I'll say that I'm ready. Most importantly to me is to finish ALL of my schooling I need, get a job in the career field I want to go into, and be financially stable. Those are my main three but there are others like being happy with myself and honestly I don't think I could marry someone I hadn't know for at least five years (not necessarily dating that long, but at least been close friends with before dating).
So I guess it just scares me to see people I know who are my age or even younger who think they are ready to be married because that means either I'm right and their relationship isn't going to last or that there's something wrong with me because I'm not ready for that level of commitment yet (not saying that there aren't the rare few that work out, but they're the exception and most of us are not the exception sadly). Maybe this is all in my head and this whole post is pointless, but I've been thinking about this topic a lot recently just due to some of the people in my life and the fact that the holiday season is full of engagements that I wanted to get it off my chest.
So, yeah. I guess that's my current view on marriage at this point in my life. I'm sure it'll change over time, so we can look forward to seeing how that changes. But as a tl;dr the thought of marriage currently terrifies me and anyone under the age of 25 or people who have known each other less than five years should be allowed to get married
There's so much of the world I've yet to experience and I want to get to experience them. Not that you can't do that when married, it's just a little harder especially when you're young. I want to be happy with myself on my own before bringing another person into the picture again. You know, even as much as my ex and I loved each other and as much as I wanted him to be in my future we had already talked and we had the same feelings. There are still a lot of things that we both want to do in our lives, and marriage is just not something that we came close to considering. The timing for us was definitely not the best, but in then end we knew that we both had plans for our future. We had two different but also similar paths that we were heading down, but we didn't want anything to stop us from pursuing our goals. And I guess that's a little bit of the reason we broke up. We were happy, and we still care about each other and are in full support of each others choices, but this time in our life a commitment like marriage would've ruined our opportunities or our relationship and neither of those were things we ever were willing to risk.
I have at least six years of school left. Five after the end of this semester, but I have to get at least a masters degree to even qualify for a job in the field I want to go into. Then I have actually find a job, hopefully within that field I just spent six years of my life getting an education for and become a functioning member of society. Within that time I'd love to travel, maybe fall in love again a time or two, and just become the person that I've always wanted to be. These are all of the things that I want to happen before I get married. I have a list of "requirements" I guess you could say that have to be accomplished before I'll say that I'm ready. Most importantly to me is to finish ALL of my schooling I need, get a job in the career field I want to go into, and be financially stable. Those are my main three but there are others like being happy with myself and honestly I don't think I could marry someone I hadn't know for at least five years (not necessarily dating that long, but at least been close friends with before dating).
So I guess it just scares me to see people I know who are my age or even younger who think they are ready to be married because that means either I'm right and their relationship isn't going to last or that there's something wrong with me because I'm not ready for that level of commitment yet (not saying that there aren't the rare few that work out, but they're the exception and most of us are not the exception sadly). Maybe this is all in my head and this whole post is pointless, but I've been thinking about this topic a lot recently just due to some of the people in my life and the fact that the holiday season is full of engagements that I wanted to get it off my chest.
So, yeah. I guess that's my current view on marriage at this point in my life. I'm sure it'll change over time, so we can look forward to seeing how that changes. But as a tl;dr the thought of marriage currently terrifies me and anyone under the age of 25 or people who have known each other less than five years should be allowed to get married
