When did you realize life is short?

When did you realize life is short?

I probably realized this several times, but it became very obvious when I heard one of my best friends had tried to kill herself. That was a real wake up call for me, I guess is what you'd say. It was the point when I realized that I need to tell people the things that matter when I think them, because if I don't they could never know. It was also the point that I realized that life was fragile and that it took very little to take it away.

I didn't really know what to think for a while and all I really hoped for was that she would be okay. She got better and is doing better, but being depressed is something that doesn't just disappear. And it's a scary thought that it could be possible that one day she or anyone else I know could become so depressed that they want to take their life and that they would be successful.

That's the reason I believe you need to tell people what you think about them and that you really care about them because it could be what saves them. Even a simple smile at a stranger could save them. I heard this story that a man who jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge had written a note that said "if anyone smiles at me on my way there I will not jump." But no one smiled at him, so he jumped. Truthfully, I don't know if it's a true story, but it definitely seems like it is and it's so preventable.

What about you? When did you realize life was short?

Love,
Natalie

Books

Hello, it's been a while and I don't really have much to say, but I wanted to talk about my favorite author today and some of the books he's written.

His name is John Green and he is an amazing writer. His books are beautiful and so well written. The stories he tells are, for lack of a better word, amazing and his way with words leaves me breathless at times.

My favorite one is his newest book called The Fault In Our Stars. It's about a girl named Hazel and a boy named Augustus who both have cancer, but it's not a "cancer book." The story is about Hazel and Augustus falling in love and going to see their favorite author who live in Amsterdam and oblivion and how life is never fair and that always doesn't last forever and sometimes it's better to just be okay.

The word okay sort of became their mantra like couples use the word always, because they knew they may not have an always. And Hazel was also worried about what would happen if she died. In her words she didn't want to be a grenade and destroy everything she loved when she finally went off. All Augustus wanted was to be remembered. He wanted to leave his mark on the world.

Another of my favorites is Paper Towns. There's a quote from this book I really love which is, "Look at all these paper people in this paper town." To me it's basically about how the place you're from eventually begins to seem so fake and sometimes you just have to get out before you get sucked in.

The last one I want to talk about is Looking for Alaska. I've recently started to re-read this and it's a book that has a really great meaning behind it. My favorite quote from this book is "I am going to take this bucket of water and pour it on the flames of hell, and then I am going to use this torch to burn down the gates of paradise so that people will not love God for want of heaven or fear of hell, but because He is God." This book to me is about dealing with grief and how life can change in the blink of an eye.


There are several more books written by him and they are just as great, but these are my three favorite. His books are very meaningful and they require you to think while reading them, which I think is one of the best things about them. The books have so many amazing quotes in them that apply to a lot of different situations and that's another reason why I love them. They're the type of books you can read over and over again and still be excited about the ending.


Love,
Natalie

Don't worry

Don’t hurry, don’t worry. You’re only here for a short visit. So be sure to stop and smell the flowers.
Walter Hagen

You Are Beautiful - Mike Young Spoken Word

Remember you are beautiful, because God made you this way.

One of those moments

Have you ever had one of those moments, when you begin to wonder if you die at that point in time, who would miss you? Who would be at your funeral and would they mean it when they cried?

I find them to be interesting questions, which may say something about me. But the thought that there will be people who cry over people's death that never told that person they loved them. And maybe they really didn't, if they couldn't say it out loud to that person.

And after reading an amazing, life-changing book this quote has stuck with me, "I have decided that funerals are for the living." And to be honest, this is what I tend to think. Because after I'm dead I don't really think I'm gonna care if someone comes to look at my body lying in a box. I'd rather have had them see me when I was alive. Funerals are a way to get closure, they're a way for that persons family to know that even if they have died, they will never be forgotten because they have that marker in the ground.

I have this new found love of spoken word poetry and the topics that these artists (because that's what they are) handle and the way they handle them is beautiful and artistic and so much more eloquent than I could ever be. They can express themselves in such an open way and they don't care what other people think. The confidence they go through life with may not transcend into death, but the fact that they can stand up and fight for what they believe and do it in such and eloquent and non-violent way, is amazing and aw-inspiring to me.

And some days there are those moments where you can look at the world through the eyes of a child and see all the wonderful, beautiful things and you wonder why you don't notice them more often. But going through life with child-like wonder is so much better and a lot harder than going through life as a cynic. So, some days I like to take a couple deep breaths, close my eyes, and when I open them again I tell myself that I will no longer let the world have a say in what I do and say and think. I make a point to have that child-like wonder, because when you have that wonder you begin to learn things about the world, yourself, and the people around you that you never would've known otherwise. So, don't let anyone or anything take away that wonder and that love of life that you have inside of you, because there's probably a kid looking up to you and you should probably find a kid to look up. I know there are a couple who are a lot smarter and know a lot more about life than me, and I look up to them.

Love,
Natalie    

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George Watsky- 'Drunk Text Message to God'

Drunk Text Message to God by George Watsky

The Concept of Suffering

I read The Fault in Our Stars a couple weeks ago and this has been on my mind. There's a quote in their that says--I had been looking toward the Encouragement above the TV, a drawing of an angel with the caption Without Pain, How Could We Know Joy?

(This is an old argument in the field of Thinking About Suffering, and its stupidity and lack of sophistication could be plumbed for centuries, but suffice it to say that the existence of broccoli does not in any way affect the taste of chocolate.)

It seems very logical that this statement is true and makes a lot of sense. But the suffering in life usually lasts longer than the joy which doesn't really seem fair, but that's life. It would be nice to live without pain and suffering and yes, we would still be able to feel joy and happiness. But that isn't how life works. You have to take the good with the bad. And sometimes you get those wonderful rare moments when nothing is going wrong and your happy and it lasts for a really long time. I figure you just have to be thankful for the joy and the pain in life, because with one usually the other comes.

Love,
Natalie

And Even if we never talk again, please remember that I’m forever changed by who you are and what you meant to me. <3

I don't know why, but I felt like I needed to share this. I wholeheartedly agree with its sentiment at well. 

Things to remember

Some things you never forget, and then there are some things you need to reminded of a little more often. I've been given a lot of advice during my life, like to not grow up too quickly and to enjoy the little things, which is what every ones told. But I've also been told some things that are important, but are said too often, so I feel like I need to be reminded sometimes. One of them was to always have a goal you're trying to reach. It doesn't seem like a great revelation, but I never really thought  about keeping goals, keeping something to work towards, until someone told me this. Sometimes you just need to be reminded that you have a reason for all the hard work and effort being put into something. Another was to always come back and visit your family, no matter where you end up. Once again seems simple, but so many people concentrate on getting out that they don't remember to come back and visit their family. Also, find at least one good friend who you can go to at any time for anything. They should be the person you would call at two a.m. and you're in need of someone to just talk to. They are that person who is more like a brother or sister than your own siblings. Let people know you love them, before it's too late. The saddest thing that can ever happen in my opinion is that someone dies and they don't know how much they meant to me. Don't regret things. Whether it's things you did or things you didn't do. Everything happens for a reason and just because things don't go as you planned them, it doesn't mean that they went the wrong way, they went the way God planned them to. Which is really hard to remember sometimes. The last one is that no matter how far away you are, or how bad life gets, your family will always be there. Your friends may give up on you, and you may have nowhere to go, but your family is never going to stop loving you. It doesn't matter how bad you've treated them or how long you've been away, they will always love you. This is all I can think of so far, but there is always something to to be reminded of.

Idealism

We talked about idealism and being jaded at church and it really made me think. Idealism is an okay thing as long as it doesn' t obscure your view of the world. You have to make sure you aren't going through life with this idealistic viewpoint because when it starts to go bad, things are going to look even worse. One of the people in the video said something that really hit home. They said that they figured they would know who they were by that point in their life and that's sort of how I feel. At this point of time I figured I would know my little niche, where I would fit in, but it hasn't really happened. Sure people can say they want to be different and everything, but truthfully you always will need those people to go to when things get really bad. They're the people who keep you grounded and make you see that hings aren't always idealistic, but that they aren't as bad as you think they are.