Dear You,

When the darkness engulfs you, look toward the sun. Feel its warmth. Let it brighten your day. Even if it's only for a little while. Find the silver lining. The good inside the bad. Remember we are all connected. You're a child, a sibling, a friend, family, lover You're someones hope. But on those days where it seems like your alone, like no one cares, remember who your hope is. Remember who you're staying alive for.
Or what.

Because there will be bad days, but there is always hope. There is always a reason to go on. Even if it's that stranger who smiles at you when you pass everyday. Or your dog meeting you at the door after a bad day.
They keep you going. And you keep going, for them. For yourself. For the day when you will be able to feel the sun against your skin again and smile.

Don't let the fear trap you. Live adventurously. Take a deep breath and act. Make rash decisions at times. You'll learn from your mistakes. And probably make them again anyway. But that's okay. Because it takes a couple times to make an impact.

Take time to live. Take time to be afraid, but push through. Take time to be happy. And sad. And loving. And kind. And angry. And hurt. Don't become numb to the world. Feel wholeheartedly. Don't let the world make you hard.

These are the things I want you to remember. When life is bad, when the sun disappears, remember these things. The fear will pass. The hurt will pass. The pain will pass. The world will be good again. I promise.

Love,
Me

1/24/14

Look around. Notice the small things.
Watch the flower bloom.
Hear the birds sing.
Smile at that stranger.
Look at the clouds,
the stars,
the world around you.

Take it in.
Remember the beauty.
It'll help with the bad days.

When the world seems to hate you.
When life seems to beat you down.
Remember the world.

Remember the people who love you.
The people who care about you.
Family, smiles, lovers, friends.

The way the sun warms the grass,
even when it's cold outside.
The way the ocean knows where to stop.
The way the world looks after it snows.

The wonder of the world.
The beauty of nature.
The love of people.

Remember these things.
Because they'll help.
When the world is dark.
And nothing seems good.

They'll remind you of the beauty.
The hope that's everywhere.
Always and forever.

Love,
Natalie

1/15/14

When the word family is brought up there are always the usual people you think of. Your parents, sibling, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, the people you're blood related to. And then if you're really lucky, you think of your other family. Those that you might not share DNA with, but you might as well.

Those special people who stay by your side no matter what.

I've been thinking about families a lot recently and it has made me realize that the people you surround yourself with, if they're good people, will become family. Because not everyone gets blessed with a good one so you have to make your own.

And one day, if you're really lucky, you'll look around and realize that you've made a great family for yourself. Out of people you love and who love you. Out of people you share DNA with and people who you might as well.

Love,
Natalie

My Inspiration

“I don’t care about whose DNA has recombined with whose. When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching—they are your family.”

—	Jim Butcher, Proven Guilty

Night

I'm a night person. I love the time between when the sun sets and rises again. The time where life seems to pause. When the world is quiet and people feel safe.

Night time is special. It's and in between time. Where anything is possible. Where it seems like tomorrow will never come again and yesterday is over.

Then there are those nights where you're broken. When nothing feels right and you're hurting but don't know why. Or how to get it to stop. And all you need is someone to listen. Or someone to hug. Or just some company. You just need to feel loved and cared about. Night makes people vulnerable.

I think that's why I love the night time so much. Because people are more willing to share when it's dark. They don't think about the consequences. The next few hours seem like a lifetime. And people are real. There is no filter when you're exhausted.

Hurting at night feels safer. Like nothing can get to you. Sure, when you're alone in your bed at 2 a.m. and all you can think about is how much your heart is aching or that one bad decision you  made that day you feel like nothing is going to make it end. But then night is there to welcome you into it's arms reminding that it will always be there to embrace you. No matter what you may face. And those times when you have that person you couldn't live your life without to spend those nights with you, you don't feel so alone.

There will be days where the night will be the worst time. Where going to sleep will be impossible with the pain you're feeling, but there will be other times where it's what you live for. Where nothing else makes you feel happy except those last few hours between the sun setting and it rising again because it's when you get to feel safe and calm and free.

Night is when things can happen. The unexpected, the horrible, the amazing. Night time holds promises of adventure. That's what I love best about the night. The promise of adventure.

Love,
Natalie

New Year, New Perspective

It's official. 2013 is over and it's now 2014. It's really weird to type that out, but I'm excited.

This year for New Years I was at the Big God Conference at the beach. And if you don't know what that is, it's a youth rally that has been held for 15 years in the same place. There are band and speakers and drama performances. It's a bunch of people together worshiping and learning together.

There are no words that are able to describe the feeling that that place has. It's just amazing how connected you can feel to strangers that share this one common belief and how affected you can be by the right song or the right words.

This has been a really hard year. One I would never want to repeat. But I've grown in many ways. Life is never going to be easy, and we're the ones who have to decide if were going to let that defeat us or if we're going to keep going.

I won't forget these days for the rest of my life, and the main point spoken on for the three days was choice. And something one of the speakers, Ken Freeman, said will never leave my mind. "People make choices and choices make people." 

This year is going to be a year of making decisions and making myself better.

I hope this year is a year of learning and growing for you too.

Love,
Natalie