I just wanted to share these quotes from the book The Five People You Meet In Heaven. I've only just got through the first person, but there are several that I really liked.

It might seem strange to start  a story with an ending. But all endings are also beginnings. We just don't know it all the time.
 
No story sits by itself. Sometimes stories meet at corners and sometimes they cover one another completely, like stones beneath a river.
 
As far as he could tell, when your time came, it came, and that was that. You might say something smart on your way out, but you might just as easily say something stupid.
 
People often belittle the place where they were born. But heaven can be found in the most unlikely corners.
 
"You cannot talk when you first arrive." He smiled. "It helps you listen."
 
People think of heaven as a paradise garden, a place where they can float on clouds and laze in rivers and mountains. But scenery without solace is meaningless.
 
This is the greatest gift God can give you: to understand what happened in your life. To have it explained.
 
That there are no random acts. That we are all connected. That you can no more separate one life from another than you can separate a breeze from the wind.
 
"Fairness," he said, "does not govern life and death. If it did, no good person would ever die young."
 
"It is because the human spirit knows, deep down, that all lives intersect. That death doesn't just take someone, it misses someone else, and in the small distance between being taken and being missed, lives are changed.
 
Birth and death are  part of a whole.
 
"Strangers," the Blue Man said, " are just family you have yet to come to know."
 
"No life is a waste," the Blue Man said, "The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are  alone." 

Love,
Natalie

<3

2/19/13

When I was little I always wanted to be a ballerina. If anybody ever asked me that was my answer, no hesitation. I only wish I could be that sure now.

I'm just not sure, about anything really, anymore. It's like when someone asks "Where do you want to go to college?" "What do you want to be?" "Have you thought about your future yet?" all of these questions terrify me. Because the answer to all of them is I don't know.And I really don't want to think about it right now.

The future scares me, but it also excites me. I've never felt so many conflicting emotions than when some of these questions are asked. It's excitement, fear, wonder, hope, stress, and so many others that I can't even put a name to they're so new to me. And I don't know what to do about them.

I'll be okay though. It's hard and it may take a while, but I'll figure something out. I don't have to decide for at least another year, but it's hard not to think about when everyone is constantly asking. So, maybe being a grown won't be my thing, but who says you have to be grown up when you get older. Maybe I'll just stay a lost boy in Neverland forever. That sounds pretty good to me.

Love,
Natalie

Facts About Myself (So Far)

This is a list of then things I find to be true right now in my life. I think I'll try and update this at least every once in a while. (Which probably means once or twice a year.)

1.  I am a sophmore in high school.
2. My name is Natalie.
3. I love animals of all types really.
4. Reading is one of my favorite things to do...ever.
5. I spend entirely too much time on YouTube.
6. ...and Tumblr
7. I have about five books full of quotes and pages full on a document. I guess you could say I'm kind of obsessed.
8. Little things make me laugh, like a stupid picture or corny joke.
9. I love to smile! 
10. Making other people happy is one of my favorite things.
11. My family are some of the greatest people ever. Even if we are kind of messed up.
12. I've been dancing for 13 years with the same studio and I love the people I dance with. They're the best.
13. I'm not very good at expressing myself to others.
14. If things get too overwhelming I shut down. I know this is something I shouldn't do, but I can't help it and I do eventually come around. I just need time.
15.  I want to become a psychologists one day. Maybe for kids.
16.  I want to marry someone someday, even though I find it hard to believe that I'll ever find love someday.
17. I have two brothers. One older and one twin.
18.  My dog is one of my favorite animals ever. I've had him for 13 years and he's the greatest.
19.  I love my job and where I'm working. There are some of the greatest people there and I wouldn't change it for the world.
20.  I have an unhealthy obsession with way too many tv shows, movies, books, etc. 
21. John Green is my favorite author and all of his books are amazing. The Fault in Our Stars is definitely my favorite though.
22. I love to watch movies and I have quite a large collection.
23. When I was younger I loved Mary-Kate and Ashley books and I still own all of them. (This is something I am quite proud of.)
24. I almost never watch tv shows when they first show on tv, but I usually watch them online later.
25. Some of my best memories are from family vacations and church camps.
26. I'm trying to be a better Christian...and I think I'm doing okay.
27. I prefer staying at home than going out and doing something, and I'm not sure how I feel about this yet.
28. I find it easier to share how I feel with people I don't know than with people I know because I feel like they are going to judge me.
29. I can't fall asleep without listening to a podcast or something. I can't go to sleep to silence.
30. Sometimes I'm terrified of going away to college and growing up, but then I realize that I kind of can't wait for it to happen. 

Love,
Natalie

Beloved

Five minute Friday.  
On Fridays around these parts we like to write. Not for comments or traffic or anyone else’s agenda. But for pure love of the written word. For joy at the sound of syllables, sentences and paragraphs all strung together by the voice of the speaker.
We love to just write without worrying if it’s just right or not. For five minutes flat.

Today's word: Beloved

I don't have a "beloved" so to say, but I do have friends who are beloved to me. They're people I could never imagine living my life without. So, I guess in that way, I am beloved and I have beloved people in my life.

To me the word beloved is something that isn't used often, and therefore when it is used, it shows how much you think of someone. It's a label we give to people we care about, people who are so special they deserve a special label. Being someones beloved is something that people hold dear to them.

Being beloved is special, and it's not a label that's given away lightly. So, even if I don't have a beloved in the usual way, it doesn't mean that they are the only ones that can hold that label. And I have many beloved people in my life, I just hope they know that.

Love,
Natalie 

Valentine's Day

You know I never really cared about Valentine's Day, especially when I was younger. It was just another day where you gave candy and you got candy from people. And that was totally fine with me.

But now I do notice that I kind of care now. And it's not even that I care about having someone to be my "valentine." It's just nice to know you have someone who doesn't necessarily have to care about you cares.

You have no idea how much someone sending me a message on Tumblr saying that they hope I have a good day because I deserve it. And that just made my day!

So, I guess the point I'm trying to make is that it doesn't really matter if you have a valentine on one day out of the year, because there are 364 other day out of the year to have people say the care. And don't take advantage of people who care about you either because on day you're going to need them too.

So be proud to tell the people you love how you feel about them, any day of the year, they'll appreciate it. I promise.

Love,
Natalie

Now Is Good

This is a movie based on the book Before I Die by Jenny Downham. And I just finished watching it.

This is amazing. And I don't know how else to describe it, but it's even more than amazing. The story is of a teenage girl dying from leukemia and what she wants to do before she dies. And it's about moments. To seize the time you have because you never know when it will end.

I don't normally cry at films, but this one made me. And that's not easy. I don't know it just made me think about how life is too short and that not everyone has the ability to do everything they want in life and that really sucks. It reminded me about the fact that people who are healthy take advantage of that and we don't cherish our time.

Moments...our life is a series of moments, all gathering towards this one. This is how the story begins and ends. It made me think, all these moments in my life the good, the bad, and the ones that seem like nothing but are some of the best, these are the things that are shaping my life. And I have control of them. I get to decide what moments mean to me.

It's easy when you don't have anything that is making you think about the fact that some day you will die, it's easy to ignore that fact. But maybe what we need to do instead is embrace it. I think it would make people better if they did. Because I know that if I were dying I'd make my days count. And I'd make sure people would know how much they mean to me, and I don't do that now.

So maybe that's what life is about, doing something good in the world. Even if only a few remember it. Because we only have short amount of time on this earth and why shouldn't we at least try to do something that could change it.

Love,
Natalie

P.S. (I'm sorry if this doesn't make any sense my emotions haven't been reigned in yet.)

5 minute Friday
Take a deep breath. You made it. It’s Friday. Got five minutes? Let’s write.Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.

Today's Prompt: Bare

Everytime I press the publish button that's what I feel. It's so scary to bare your secrets to people and not know what they think. It used to stop me from writing or from being myself because I felt like people would judge me for the things I did. And sometimes I still feel like that. But then I remember this quote that says "All you need is 20 seconds of inane courage to get things started." That's all. But that 20 seconds is one of the most terrifying twenty seconds of my life. And then it's over and I feel better. Because baring a secret that has been hurting for so long just feels so good. And maybe that's how I need to start living my life. Because twenty seconds of insane courage can change someones life.

Small Kindnesses

Yesterday at dance we were working on our recital dance and there's a part where different "couples" are going out and doing lifts and other cool tricks. Now me and my partner had decided we really didn't want to do this, but another girl wanted to and her partner couldn't do it with her because there is a pronounced height difference which doesn't really work when you're doing lifts. So, I just volunteered to trade partners for that part because it would be easy and I knew no one would want to trade. This seemed to amaze everyone. They thought it was so nice and sweet what I was doing which I kind of don't understand because it's just something that seemed obvious.

I mean I know not a lot people, it seems, now days really care about other people's feelings and making others happy, but I like that. I like to make people happy, which at times does backfire and usually ends up with me being hurt because I get attached easily, but it makes me happy. And I think that's more important.

So, this experience has taught me a little about the way people have changed, I guess. People look at a kind gesture and are amazed by it and that's just sad. But being able to do small, kind things, that's what makes my day.

Love,
Natalie