Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Monday, October 29, 2012
Thursday, October 25, 2012
I feel like I may be starting to feel like the place I'm at right now is where I want to get out of here for a while. Maybe not leave forever ad move away, but take a vacation from my life and start over again for a while.
But, what I've realized after having this little vacation is that when you come back, no matter how long your gone, there's going to be something you're going to have to face. You're always coming back to what you left.
The again, maybe that's what I need right now. To go and forget everything and then to come back and be throw into the world again and be needed. Maybe this is something everyone needs. I think taking time for ourselves isn't something to be ashamed for needing, but it is something that we need from time to time.
It's maybe something people begin to feel when they get older and realize how hard it is to get away from things when you don't leave. 'Cause I don't remember feeling like this when I was little.
It could also be that when I was gone these last few days, I didn't need to have the internet to be entertained because I had so much to do. Maybe it shows that people really ca go without technology and we should more often, because it forces us to be more social and really get to know people we would otherwise not even think about saying hello to.
Maybe vacations are meant to give you time to think about life and to realize that there are things in this world we care about that really aren't all that important.
So I still haven't figured out what I'm actually feeling here, but I think I'm getting a little better.
Love,
Natalie
But, what I've realized after having this little vacation is that when you come back, no matter how long your gone, there's going to be something you're going to have to face. You're always coming back to what you left.
The again, maybe that's what I need right now. To go and forget everything and then to come back and be throw into the world again and be needed. Maybe this is something everyone needs. I think taking time for ourselves isn't something to be ashamed for needing, but it is something that we need from time to time.
It's maybe something people begin to feel when they get older and realize how hard it is to get away from things when you don't leave. 'Cause I don't remember feeling like this when I was little.
It could also be that when I was gone these last few days, I didn't need to have the internet to be entertained because I had so much to do. Maybe it shows that people really ca go without technology and we should more often, because it forces us to be more social and really get to know people we would otherwise not even think about saying hello to.
Maybe vacations are meant to give you time to think about life and to realize that there are things in this world we care about that really aren't all that important.
So I still haven't figured out what I'm actually feeling here, but I think I'm getting a little better.
Love,
Natalie
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
I came back today from vacation and my dad told me that one of the pastors at the church me and my brother work at called and said that we were no longer needed at the daycare.
The thing is, we were just there last week and have worked there for a year previously. The pastor said their elders had decided they only wanted to have people from their church working there, but the only reason we were there was because they didn't have enough people willing to help.
It doesn't bother me that they want people from that church to work there, I understand that, it's church politics. But the fact that the person who "hired" us didn't feel like she should call or e-mail to let us know this or even talk to us last week about it is what bothers me.
We could've still been on vacation had we been told this previously.
I don't know I've been feeling like I wanted to cry since I left the house we were staying in for vacation and headed back home and little things have set me off on that feeling again.
I don't know what's wrong with me, but I hope it will go away soon. I hate feeling this way. Like anything will make me cry and having to hold everything back.
Life is feeling pretty sucky right now. Hope it gets better soon.
Love,
Natalie
The thing is, we were just there last week and have worked there for a year previously. The pastor said their elders had decided they only wanted to have people from their church working there, but the only reason we were there was because they didn't have enough people willing to help.
It doesn't bother me that they want people from that church to work there, I understand that, it's church politics. But the fact that the person who "hired" us didn't feel like she should call or e-mail to let us know this or even talk to us last week about it is what bothers me.
We could've still been on vacation had we been told this previously.
I don't know I've been feeling like I wanted to cry since I left the house we were staying in for vacation and headed back home and little things have set me off on that feeling again.
I don't know what's wrong with me, but I hope it will go away soon. I hate feeling this way. Like anything will make me cry and having to hold everything back.
Life is feeling pretty sucky right now. Hope it gets better soon.
Love,
Natalie
Thursday, October 18, 2012
I go online a lot and the thing I most see is something that really disturbs me. There are so many people who will bully people online and say that they should kill themselves. And I don't think anyone has the right to tell someone that.
I try to imagine what it would feel like to have someone say that to my face and it would be just devastating. That's what I always think about when I type out a comment for anything online. "Would I say this to their face?" or "How would I feel if someone said this to me?"
Maybe that's just something I feel like I have to do. I would feel responsible if I said something mean to someone and because of that they decided they weren't worthy to live. No one has the right to make anyone feel that way.
Something else that needs to be remembered is, some people don't take criticism or people being rude well. Some are thick skinned, but there are those out there who aren't. I tend to think, "well this wouldn't hurt my feelings so why would it hurt there's?" It could hurt them anyway, because not everyone can let an insult roll of their back like others.
Being aware and thinking before typing out your immediate response is important to me. I feel like I need to say what I have to say in the best way possible. So, if that means typing out my initial reaction and then deleting the whole thing and starting from scratch after a while to think about it, that's what I would do. Being rash can make for some terrible decisions that could've been avoided.
So, just think about what your going to say/type next time you feel the need to share an opinion. Try and be civil and see the other sides perspective. It's something we learned in kindergarten, but sometimes we need to remind ourselves how important it is to be respectful of others.
Love,
Natalie
I try to imagine what it would feel like to have someone say that to my face and it would be just devastating. That's what I always think about when I type out a comment for anything online. "Would I say this to their face?" or "How would I feel if someone said this to me?"
Maybe that's just something I feel like I have to do. I would feel responsible if I said something mean to someone and because of that they decided they weren't worthy to live. No one has the right to make anyone feel that way.
Something else that needs to be remembered is, some people don't take criticism or people being rude well. Some are thick skinned, but there are those out there who aren't. I tend to think, "well this wouldn't hurt my feelings so why would it hurt there's?" It could hurt them anyway, because not everyone can let an insult roll of their back like others.
Being aware and thinking before typing out your immediate response is important to me. I feel like I need to say what I have to say in the best way possible. So, if that means typing out my initial reaction and then deleting the whole thing and starting from scratch after a while to think about it, that's what I would do. Being rash can make for some terrible decisions that could've been avoided.
So, just think about what your going to say/type next time you feel the need to share an opinion. Try and be civil and see the other sides perspective. It's something we learned in kindergarten, but sometimes we need to remind ourselves how important it is to be respectful of others.
Love,
Natalie
Monday, October 15, 2012
Me and my best friend were texting the other day and we were talking about how we always feel like were different form everyone else around us.
She said that she felt like something was wrong with her because she never felt the need to talk to someone all the time and that she would rather read or listen to music than hang out with friends.
But, I totally knew what she meant. I knew because that's how I feel. I told her that it's because we're different and we don't feel the need to be accepted by everyone around us. We don't need everyone to love us to be happy. Because the things we do, make us happy. And even if everyone else doesn't understand, it's okay, because you are happy.
This is what I think is important to know. Just because someone doesn't need to have everyone hanging onto their every word, it doesn't mean they don't need someone to be there when they do need someone to listen.
I know that being an introvert is hard for some people to understand and accept. But I also think that without people being introverts, this world would be a little worse off. It's okay to not want to go out and be with friends all the time, you're allowed to want to be alone sometimes.
Because not everyone has the same personality. Everyone is different and that's okay. Be yourself and be proud of that.
Love,
Natalie
She said that she felt like something was wrong with her because she never felt the need to talk to someone all the time and that she would rather read or listen to music than hang out with friends.
But, I totally knew what she meant. I knew because that's how I feel. I told her that it's because we're different and we don't feel the need to be accepted by everyone around us. We don't need everyone to love us to be happy. Because the things we do, make us happy. And even if everyone else doesn't understand, it's okay, because you are happy.
This is what I think is important to know. Just because someone doesn't need to have everyone hanging onto their every word, it doesn't mean they don't need someone to be there when they do need someone to listen.
I know that being an introvert is hard for some people to understand and accept. But I also think that without people being introverts, this world would be a little worse off. It's okay to not want to go out and be with friends all the time, you're allowed to want to be alone sometimes.
Because not everyone has the same personality. Everyone is different and that's okay. Be yourself and be proud of that.
Love,
Natalie
Sunday, October 14, 2012
You know I've been thinking. I may not be the most amazing dancer or go to the best dance scool out there, but I do have the most amazing group of people to dance with.
It's something I take advantage of at time, I know this. But, it's also something that I love. Maybe being a part of this amazing family group has changed the way I view other things. I see the way I interact with other people and I have come to realize I want people to feel the way I do. I want them to feel like no matter where they go, there is always going to be somewhere to come back to.
I know that even if my parents move away, my friends forget me, I'll always have this part of me to go back to. This love and this place that always makes me feel safe. And no matter how far I go, I'll always ave this ting to make me feel like I'm back at home. Because dance is something that will never change.
It is going to be the same, forever. It's never going to leave me and it's never going to give up on me. I'll always be able to run back to it, when I'm scared and when I need something that feels comfortable. Something that feels like home.
Because that's what being a part of this family is, it's having somewhere to go, no matter what. It's somewhere that will always welcome you back. I know this is something I will always have, because I will always have a heart of a dancer.
And that's something you can't take away.
Love,
Natalie
It's something I take advantage of at time, I know this. But, it's also something that I love. Maybe being a part of this amazing family group has changed the way I view other things. I see the way I interact with other people and I have come to realize I want people to feel the way I do. I want them to feel like no matter where they go, there is always going to be somewhere to come back to.
I know that even if my parents move away, my friends forget me, I'll always have this part of me to go back to. This love and this place that always makes me feel safe. And no matter how far I go, I'll always ave this ting to make me feel like I'm back at home. Because dance is something that will never change.
It is going to be the same, forever. It's never going to leave me and it's never going to give up on me. I'll always be able to run back to it, when I'm scared and when I need something that feels comfortable. Something that feels like home.
Because that's what being a part of this family is, it's having somewhere to go, no matter what. It's somewhere that will always welcome you back. I know this is something I will always have, because I will always have a heart of a dancer.
And that's something you can't take away.
Love,
Natalie
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Why don't we vote for vice president? You know, I feel like we should.
When given an option between two people to run our country we can decide who we want for the "main" person, but we can't choose who we want to help that person. There have been a lot of times where a person running for president has had a running mate that you don't want to also have the power that the vice president will have. Then there are people who are great vice president candidates, but their running mate isn't that great.
It feels like if we were able to vote for the candidate we want then people would want to vote more. Because if they don't like the person running with the candidate they want as president, but they like the other one, then they would be more likely to vote. They would have more options.
It seems like with our rights and freedoms we should be able to choose who is going to help run our country for four to eight years.
Maybe it would end up choosing the lesser of two evils, which is what a lot of people think when they vote, but maybe it would also show the candidates abilities and how they plan on helping fix the problems we are having.
I just feel like if we are going to vote on our leader, we might as well be able to vote for the second in command too.
When given an option between two people to run our country we can decide who we want for the "main" person, but we can't choose who we want to help that person. There have been a lot of times where a person running for president has had a running mate that you don't want to also have the power that the vice president will have. Then there are people who are great vice president candidates, but their running mate isn't that great.
It feels like if we were able to vote for the candidate we want then people would want to vote more. Because if they don't like the person running with the candidate they want as president, but they like the other one, then they would be more likely to vote. They would have more options.
It seems like with our rights and freedoms we should be able to choose who is going to help run our country for four to eight years.
Maybe it would end up choosing the lesser of two evils, which is what a lot of people think when they vote, but maybe it would also show the candidates abilities and how they plan on helping fix the problems we are having.
I just feel like if we are going to vote on our leader, we might as well be able to vote for the second in command too.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Monday, October 1, 2012
Getting Better
It may seem scary, but talk to someone. I promise it will get better. I've felt like this and finding someone to talk to about your pain and your feelings, really does make you feel better.
I love you and keep fighting.
Love,
Natalie
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